Non-Verbal Communication – Can Tango Help?
Watching a tango couple on the floor allows you to see many magical details. There’s an almost ethereal quality to how they move, as if they are one entity instead of two.
What’s even more fascinating is that this level of non-verbal communication isn’t just reserved for the pros. In fact, it’s in tango itself.
Tango, to some, is just one of the many dances out there. But to others, it’s a way of connecting, growing, and communicating with a partner.
Believe it or not, tango is one of the most influential and artistic communication methods.
The Science of Communication
People tend to overlook the role that communication plays in our everyday lives. We use it to interact with others, socialize, and build relationships. But what exactly is communication in behavioral science?
At its simplest,
communication is the process of sending and receiving information. We use symbols, like words and gestures, to create meaning.
It’s just impossible to go by without communication!
Michael Ivanov at PsyResearch defines communicative behaviors as a psychological construct influencing how we interact with others. It helps us understand social codes, social cues, and the expectations that come with them.
It’s how we express our feelings, needs, and thoughts, directly or indirectly.
When we say we are “communicating,” the first things that come into our minds may be words and sentences. We hear the tone of voice, the choice of words, and how they are put together to form a message. After all, giving and receiving information without using language is quite difficult.
However, communication is not just about speaking or hearing.
The Wonders of Non-Verbal Communication
Non-verbal communication makes up most of our interactions. It includes all the non-linguistic cues we use in our day-to-day lives.
According to Dr. Leanne Segal at HelpGuide, body language or non-verbal cues use physical behavior, expressions, and mannerisms to communicate non-verbally. We often do it instinctively rather than consciously.
Non-verbal communication can actually tell more truth than verbal communication.
We can control what we say but not how we communicate non-verbally.
“When your nonverbal signals match up with the words you’re saying, they increase trust, clarity, and rapport. When they don’t, they can generate tension, mistrust, and confusion.”
We communicate non-verbally in various ways. We do it through our facial expressions, which allow us to convey a wide range of emotions, from happiness and sadness to anger and fear. Our body movement and posture also play a role in non-verbal communication. How we sit or stand can express our feelings and intentions better than words.
Non-verbal communication can also occur through our gestures. We use hand gestures when we speak to add emphasis or clarify what we’re saying. We also use them non-verbally to communicate our feelings, such as waving hello or goodbye.
Our non-verbal cues regulate interactions, such as eye contact, personal space, and touch.
How we look at someone, the distance we keep from them, and how we touch them can tell them our level of interest, comfort, and familiarity. Even our voice can convey non-verbal messages. Our voice’s volume, pitch, rhythm, and intonation can express emotions!
The Importance of Non-Verbal Communication
You might think non-verbal communication is more complicated than verbal communication.
Why not directly say what you mean instead of resorting to non-verbal cues? Well, non-verbal communication is a significant part of our interactions. For one,
non-verbal communication can help us better understand the feelings and intentions of others. It can also help us express ourselves when we cannot find the right words.
Harappa tells us that non-verbal communication adds more value to verbal communication and reinforces trust and credibility. GoodTherapy notes that a more profound understanding on a nonverbal level can facilitate greater closeness. Non-verbal communication strengthens bonds and creates intimacy.
“Because non-verbal communication is often unconscious, the way individuals communicate non-verbally may provide the first indication of an underlying issue not readily apparent in the relationship.”
We must be as good at non-verbal communication as we are at verbal communication. We can’t just rely on words to communicate our message clearly. To effectively communicate with others, we must be aware of the non-verbal cues we send and receive. So, where does the tango come in?
Argentine Tango: A Form of Communication
If we look at the literal meaning of “tango,” it’s a ballroom dance characterized by close embrace, swift turns, and passionate moves.
But if we go beyond the textbook definition, we’ll see that tango is much more than just a dance.
When you go to a milonga, and the crowd is filled with people of all ages, you’ll quickly realize that tango is a passion people dedicate themselves to.
Tango is an art, a form of expression.
Dancers express their feelings and emotions through their movements. What does that make tango?
A form of communication! Tango, especially for experts, is non-verbal communication at its finest.
As Life Is a Tango says,
“First, tango is inarguably a form of communication. It is a non-verbal conversation between two people.
The leader initiates the conversation, the follower responds and the leader responds to her response. As in verbal exchanges, the best communicators are excellent listeners.”
Every step in tango is a way to communicate. The leader leads, and the follower follows. They both listen to music and each other. They feel the connection, and they communicate through their movements. The world knows how passionate Argentine tango is. Compared to other dances worldwide, tango has an incomparably intimate feeling. According to UltimateTango,
“The dance’s sensual nature and its need for close physical contact can be the first step in bringing couples together into a loving embrace that lasts even after they’ve left the dance floor.”
All these intimacies and connections we feel while dancing the tango are non-verbal.
If we make it a verbal communication, every movement is a word, and the music becomes the voice. The dance becomes the two people’s conversation.
Tango cannot happen without two people’s communication!
As the Language Journal says,
“There is a language quietly spoken between the partners and generously shared with their audience in a most intimate way.”
This is why many learners fail to learn the tango. They try to over-analyze the steps and movements, thinking that perfecting them is the right way to dance the tango. They don’t realize that the key is non-verbal communication.
Tango is about connecting with yourself, your partner, the dance floor, and the music. It’s a whole conversation that uses movements to express your truth.
Tango and Communication
You will hear a buzz of conversations when you find yourself in a traditional milonga for the first time. You may think it’ll be the same scene when it’s time to dance. The music will start, people will walk around and verbally ask others to dance, and you will hear yeses and noes. Be ready for a surprise because all the non-verbal cues we discussed earlier will be put into use!
Tango has social codes called tango “codigos.”
Dancers use non-verbal cues to communicate with each other on and off the dance floor. You will notice these in every person, from how they stand and ask for a dance to how they dance. All these social codes make the social atmosphere of a milonga unique.
Inviting Someone To Dance
In tango, the leader initiates the dance. He will ask for a dance by giving them a non-verbal cue: making eye contact.
If the invitee is interested, she will hold his gaze and nod. The leader will then extend his arm, and the invitee will put her hand on his. He will start leading her to the dance floor.
Not everyone invited is required to say yes (or nod yes), and they can reject anyone who invites them by simply looking away.
It is considered impolite to verbally say no, but a non-verbal rejection is socially acceptable.
Entering and Leaving the Dance Floor
Just like in verbal communication, interrupting is considered rude. When dancers enter the dance floor, the leader makes eye contact with the leader who’s already on the dance floor. If the leader on the dance floor nods, it’s a signal for the couple to enter. It’s important to let everyone else know what your next move is because the dance floor is a shared sacred place.
You must be considerate of others and use non-verbal communication to avoid accidents.
The same goes when you’re leaving the dance floor. The leader again makes eye contact with the leader of the couple who’s already on the dance floor. You wait for their nod before you exit. It’s like signaling to each other that you’re done dancing and ready to leave.
Non-verbal communication gives a milonga the organization it needs, making it a safe and fun place for everyone.
The Leader and the Follower
Tango couples have a leader and a follower, each with their own role.
The leader’s responsibilities include ensuring the safety of their follower and leading the dance. On the other hand, the follower’s responsibility is to flow with the leader’s movements and respond accordingly.
Both fulfill their duties through their movements. They control, guide, and support each other without saying a word.
The leader initiates the moves while the follower responds.
The leader has to be very clear with their non-verbal cues so the follower can respond accordingly. The follower also needs to be aware of the leader’s non-verbal cues so they can anticipate the next move. It’s a quiet and magnificent conversation between two people!
Patrick Tay also observed how the Argentine tango is distinct from other dances in how non-verbal communication is integrated into the dance itself.
“Argentine tango does not follow any specified dance steps unlike other dances (although there are some pre-defined dance moves that Argentine tango dancers are able to use at will…)
While the follower takes the lead from the leader as in any other dance, the dances that they participate in are never entirely the same (unless they choose to do so), which makes Argentine tango dance moves extremely unpredictable and interesting.”
In tango, the dance is almost entirely done in an impromptu manner.
This graceful improvisation is made possible by the non-verbal communication between the leader and the follower.
They have to be constantly aware of each other’s movements to be able to flow together. This makes tango not just perfect for couples but everyone.
Patrick added,
“Someone once commented that Argentine tango is all about love and passion. I’d rather say that Argentine tango is all about non-verbal communication.”
And non-verbal communication is for everyone!
How Tango Helps You
Looking beyond the steps that a tango couple executes, you see how non-verbal communication transpires between them. You also see tango differently; you see it as what it really is. According to Simplenelegant,
“Emotions in music inspire the dancers to a corresponding ‘conversation:’ sometimes you sing — as one — in a duet, sometimes you exchange jokes, sometimes you cry together.
Tango, like language, is an instrument. The one who speaks the language decides what to do with this tool.”
If tango is a tool, it has everything you need to improve your communication skills, direct or indirect. It is conducive for children to learn about communication early on in their lives.
With tango, they can understand the different ways to communicate with others and express themselves.
Hernan and Anita - Ultimate Tango
Anita Flejter of Ultimate Tango School of Dance also said,
“The need for communication holds true when it comes to our relationships. It’s not just ‘being on the same page,’ it’s an around-the-clock, telepathy-like experience, that only very few can really find.”
This means when you learn the tango, you learn to communicate — and when you learn to communicate, you create and nurture relationships.
Tango requires constant communication between the leader and the follower.
Like in relationships, it’s communication that makes it thrive. You gain valuable skills and insights that improve together when you learn the tango as a dance that’s not just about the steps. Anita Flejter adds,
“…tango is an excellent platform for personal growth and becoming a better and more engaged companion in friendships, relationships, and work comradeship.”
Tango: A Dialogue That Makes Sense
There’s no dance without non-verbal communication.
A dance, especially a tango, is a dialogue between two people. Even without words, the dialogue makes sense.
How? Because two people constantly communicate with each other through their movements.
Tango dancers listen and respond to each other, establishing a connection that non-tango dancers may find difficult to understand.
Learning the tango allows you to learn other things that can enhance your life. It’s no surprise that many see tango as a way of life, not just a dance. When you open yourself to the non-verbal communication that tango offers, you also open yourself to new experiences and knowledge.
Non-verbal communication, in tango or not, is a two-way street. It’s not just about what you can say but also about what you can understand.
Watching a tango couple on the floor allows you to see many magical details.
Watching a tango couple on the floor allows you to see many magical details. There’s an almost ethereal quality to how they move, as if they are one entity instead of two. What’s even more fascinating is that this level of non-verbal communication isn’t just reserved for the pros. In fact, it’s in tango itself.
Tango, to some, is just one of the many dances out there. But to others, it’s a way of connecting, growing, and communicating with a partner.
Believe it or not, tango is one of the most influential and artistic communication methods.